7 Times Women Said No + a Playlist
Words by: Maggie Laubscher | Music by: Abby Yemm
Happy Women’s History Month! In Shonda Rhimes’s book Year of Yes, she has one chapter on the power of the word ‘no’. It’s a chapter I remember eagerly awaiting, as despite all the positives of saying yes and trying new things, there is an undeniably true stereotype among women: we can’t say no. It’s not always the case, of course. But it is a cliché for a reason: because it’s often true.
We want to please, we want to help, we want to give. But saying no is an option, and it’s one we should all use more. In the book, Shonda credits a friend for telling her, ‘No is a complete sentence. You say no and you say goodbye. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.’
To kick off this Women’s History Month, we want to highlight seven times women we admire said NO. Happy women’s month, Nellies. We are proud to know you.
‘Strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.’ -unknown
1) When Ava said no to minorities as set pieces
Image Credit: Ava DuVernay official website
Ava DuVernay (1972 -- present) is one of the best filmmakers we have today. She is also a nuanced writer, advocate for female and Black rights, and a powerful player in Hollywood. She said no to minorities (BIPOC) being mere scenery in films -- a fact many of us grew up with. There is a test now coined The DuVernay test: it asks whether BIPOC have fully realized lives rather than serve as scenery in white stories. It’s a test we do when we watch films and TV shows now, and it’s been incredibly eye-opening.
2) When Betty said no to sexism
Image Credit: Marilyn K. Yee for The New York Times
Betty Friedan (1921 - 2006), feminist activist and writer, instigated decades of forward movement for women -- particularly white suburban women -- with her 1963 book The Feminine Mystique. The book questioned the role of housewives in society. It called out the sexism and gaslighting that keeps women boxed in, even today. And she gave it a name, deeming the inability to live up to the feminine mystique the ‘problem that has no name.’ Betty’s idea was to write one article on the topic. And then she was told no again and again. No one would publish the story. And so, instead of giving in and giving up, she kept pushing. She pushed the idea all the way into the groundbreaking book it became. Women since Betty have moved the needle even more, upping the inclusivity of women’s rights. But she kicked off a much-needed revolution that still benefits us today.
3) When Rosa said no to segregation
Image Credit: Wikipedia
On Dec 1, 1955, Rosa Parks (1913 – 2005) told her bus driver, ‘No’ when he told her to move to the ‘colored’ section of the bus. She was not the first to do so, but she was a lightning rod for the civil rights movement. Rosa inspired the Black community to boycott the area buses for more than a year and her actions ultimately led to a law stating that bus segregation is unconstitutional. And she did it by saying no.
4) When Christine said no to Brett Kavanaugh
Image Credit: Wikipedia
Christine Blasey Ford (1966 -- present), a research psychologist at Stanford University School of Medicine, said no to being silenced about Brett Kavanaugh. While Kavanaugh was ultimately sworn in as a Supreme Court justice, Christine raised the alarm to women the world over for speaking her truth: that she was sexually assaulted by Kavanaugh as a teen. By saying no to silence, Christine then had to relive her assault repeatedly to the media and in court hearings. At one point, she took and passed a polygraph test with a former FBI agent. She endured victim blaming by many, including former president Donald Trump. She received death threats. She and her family have had to move four different times and hire private security. She spoke out for us, for the safety of us and our country. Thank you for saying no and standing up, Christine.
5) When Yayoi said no to conforming
Image credit: Gamma-Rapho/Getty Images via Forbes.com
This one goes out to our Nellie and resident artist Abby Yemm. Yayoi Kusama (1929 -- present) is her fave and we are with her. The Japanese artist creates truly phenomenal art we could look at for days. She said no to conformity in all forms. Yayoi is known for her Infinity Rooms installations, which are ethereal and mind bending and beautiful. She is also known for polka dots, which she uses in many of her works -- most notably when she created a series of installations involving naked participants painted with brightly coloured polka dots. Beyond her art, Yayoi is open about her mental health struggles, which we always appreciate. In 1977, she checked herself into a hospital for the mentally ill, where she voluntarily took up permanent residence and still lives today.
6) When Malala said no to unequal education
Image credit: UN.org
When she was just a teen, Malala Yousafzai (1997 -- present) said no -- publicly -- to the idea in Pakistan that girls had little right to an education. Because of that, a masked gunman boarded her school bus and shot her in the head. She somehow recovered and has gone on to create the Malala Fund, a charity dedicated to giving every girl an opportunity to achieve a future she chooses. She received the Nobel Peace Prize in 2014 and last year, she graduated from the University of Oxford. And still, she says, ‘Every day I fight to ensure all girls receive 12 years of free, safe, quality education.’
7) When Ruth said no to gender inequality
Image credit: Iconicos Etsy shop
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1933 – 2020) was a Supreme Court justice and feminist icon. Even before serving 27 years (!) on the Supreme Court, Ruth was shouting, ‘No’ against the suppression of women’s rights. Ruth changed the way women can live in our country. She continuously fought for gender equality -- working within the law to gain women access to jobs, rights and more.
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