Sexual Assault: We Break It Down
Words by: Maggie Laubscher | Music by: Abby Yemm
Image credit: KRISTIN DUVALL
Trigger warning: we’d first like to warn you that this article contains sensitive subject matter regarding sexual violence.
Sexual assault isn’t something I could define as a kid. As a teen, I knew it was around me -- in my favorite shows, like when Kelly revealed her rape virginity story; in late-night jokes on the regular, in my school via jokes and other kids’ untold stories.
I remember it in Sixteen Candles, which my friends and I celebrated hardcore despite a subplot played for laughs where a drunk and unconscious girl is passed from one boy to another and then raped. In the movie, teen heartthrob Jake Ryan offers a chilling, ‘Have fun’ as he hands the unconscious Caroline to another guy.
I remember it in Revenge of the Nerds, which I watched when I was far too young with my older siblings. It was in our childhood cartoons - hi, Pepé Le Pew.
I remember reading one particular Sweet Valley High book, ‘Don’t Go Home With John,’ which tells the story of character Lila’s attempted rape, her trauma afterwards, and the public’s role of judge and jury. At one point, Jessica and Elizabeth’s mom warns the girls that many will blame Lila or not even believe her. ‘And how could a nice boy like John do something like that?’ the mom recites.
Do you have chills? I do, still today. And I read that book when I was 10.
About a year before that, Justice Clarence Thomas joined the Supreme Court, despite Anita Hill’s very public, very valid sexual harassment allegations against him. While this wasn’t on my radar as a nine-year-old, it was in the news and on magazine covers at grocery checkout and in background adult chatter that I wandered through.
Today, I can name it and define it, but it’s still around me. It’s around all of us. And that is a problem. It’s in our Supreme Court, where Justice Brett Kavanaugh sits. It’s in the White House, where our former president, Donald Trump, sat. It’s in the #MeToo movement’s stories, and the stories left untold.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Sexual violence thrives when it’s not taken seriously or talked about, as Instagram account @soyouwanttotalkabout put so powerfully. So let’s talk about it.
To get professional knowledge/help, the National Sexual Assault Hotline is 800.656.HOPE or chat online here. Or talk to your doc, a clergy member or friend. You matter. Your well-being matters. You are not alone.
What is sexual assault?
RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest Nat’l Network) breaks it down for us as any sexual behavior without explicit consent. So, it could be unwanted intimate touching or oral sex, attempted rape, and rape.
Gimme stats:
1 in 6 American women have been raped or experienced attempted rape. (source: RAINN)
1 in 10 rape victims are male. (source: RAINN)
Native Americans are twice as likely to experience sexual assault as other races. (source: RAINN)
For every 1,000 sexual assaults, 995 perpetrators will walk free. (source: @soyouwanttotalkabout)
Quick tips:
Skip the term ‘date rape.’ It cute-ifies rape and puts it in a separate, lesser category than other forms of rape. Date rape is rape. Let’s just call it that.
Check out slide #9 for what to say and not say to survivors, and thanks for being amazing @soyouwanttotalkabout.
Watch and share this now-classic video, which honestly should be required watching in sex ed class.
Volunteer at MOCSA in KC - our friends introduced us to this unbelievable nonprofit a few years ago and we are so thankful. MOCSA does consistent, in-depth work to help those impacts by sexual assault right here in KC.
Where can I donate?
Resources to bookmark:
Nat’l Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE
Planned Parenthood: 800-230-7526
Nat’l Teen Dating Abuse Hotline: 866-331-9474
RAINN’s online chat: click here
Your doc
A clergy member
A friend
You matter. Your well-being matters. You are not alone. Be well, Nellies.
An Abby Yemm playlist for you…
A playlist created by Abby Yemm
Disclaimer: We love having these conversations. We hope you love them as well. As a peaceful reminder, all views, opinions, statements, feelings, and vibes posted on Nelle News are solely those of the beautiful individuals involved. They might not represent any other person, agency, organization, employer, or company’s views, opinions, statements, feelings, or vibes. Nelle profiles are meant to entertain and show a real-life conversation; nothing more or less.